This list is not scientific. This list is not comprehensive. This list was, like most things that have ever been written, born of a drunken conversation. As a guitarist who started playing at the dawn of the 1980’s, this is a reflection of some of the slingers who shaped my sound and taste. For each player I will present one track as proof of their shredability. Here we go…

1. NEIL ‘SPYDER’ GIRALDO

First off, how can I not honor a guy nicknamed “Spyder?” Although even 1980’s music freaks mostly don’t know his name, they know that of his longtime spouse Pat Benatar, the diminutive spandex-clad chanteuse with a voice like thunder. Benatar absolutely ruled the airwaves in the early 1980’s, with her first 5 albums going platinum. Today she is mostly remembered for her pop tracks like “Love is a Battlefield” and “We Belong,” but on her first two or three albums she consistently brought The Rock, thanks in a big way to her hubby Spyder. One of the things I respect most about this guy is that he did whatever the Benatar hit machine required – if a song needed a big solo, he could do that, but if it required him to wear a Hawaiian shirt and play a 12-string acoustic he would do that, too. I should also note that, in addition to his work with Benatar, he helped Rick Springfield do “Jessie’s Girl,” which is one of the best rock songs of the early 1980’s; no, shut up, it is. AND, Pat’s “You Better Run” was the second video ever played on MTV, which means Spyder was the first lead guitarist ever shown on the channel. Most importantly, his playing was always sublimated to the song, as it should be. In support of Spyder’s case, I give you “Promises in the Dark,” the leadoff track from their third album. It’s a great 1980’s epic rock song, starting off with a Springsteen-esque piano-and-vocal intro, and then veering into almost Iron Maiden territory on the verse. If you’re short on time, you can click ahead to about 2:40, when you get one of Neil’s (relatively) rare solo workouts, which starts off melodically and then gives you a nice array of wanktronics without staying overlong. Tasty and to the point; the guy’s a pro.

2. JAMES MANKEY

One Saturday afternoon in 1986 I turned on MTV and caught the last half of the video for “Still in Hollywood,” the first single off Concrete Blonde’s self-titled debut album. I was hooked. I bought the cassette ASAP and it was actually the album to which I (finally) learned how to play guitar by ear. However, I only learned to play the basic chord progressions by ear, because there was NO WAY I, or most other guitarists, could imitate what guitarist Jim Mankey was actually doing. For one thing, he played with his fingers instead of a pick, which was extremely odd for a guitarist in a pretty heavy alternative rock band. For another he rarely played barre chords or any of the standard rock tropes you would expect to go with the relatively simple 3- or 4-chord songs on the album. He was just out there doing his own thing, creating an atmospheric, swirling sound that perfectly complemented Johnette Napolitano’s aching, powerful voice and twilit songs about Los Angeles and its denizens. I was having an absolute hell of a time deciding which song to use for Jim, so I decided to just sell out and use the one Concrete Blonde song non-Blonde fans have probably heard: “Joey,” off their third album ‘Bloodletting.’ While it’s not his weirdest or most technically impressive solo, the song as whole shows off his repetoire well. There are the slinky, reverbed-out flourishes during the verse, the ringing melody line going into the chorus and best of all (at 2:49) the fluid, sinuous solo, just 15 seconds long, achingly pretty and all the more perfect for its brevity.

3. STEVE BARTEK

Ah, Oingo Boingo. Since I moved to California I’ve encountered a lot of Boingo fans, but back in Texas they were so unknown I had to go to their ‘Alive’ concert tour by myself. Those that did know them had John Hughes film soundtracks to thank, or maybe just hearing “Dead Man’s Party” on the radio around Halloween. I was introduced to them by some older friends who were deep into punk rock and ska and general weirdness and soon discovered their double album “Boingo Alive.” This was a sort of victory lap record, celebrating their 10^th anniversary, for which they rented a sound stage and re-recorded a bunch of their best songs live without an audience. To my ear the “Alive” versions of these songs are absolutely superior to the original album cuts, many of which suffer from 1980’s over-production-itis. Those that know anything about Boingo know that it was the brainchild of brothers Richard and Danny Elfman, the latter of whom went on to be Tim Burton’s musical, erm, muse… and one of the preeminent (if frequently annoying and self-repeating) soundtrack composers in Hollywood.

However, what most of those suckers don’t know is that Boingo guitarist Steve Bartek was the translator that methodized Elfman’s madness. He charted the musically illiterate Elfman’s songs for the band, and later served the same purpose for the movie scores. On top of all that, and despite the fact that he usually dressed like a copier salesman, he was one of the nastiest, damaged-jazz-metal guitar players around. To wit, check out the ‘Alive’ version of “No Spill Blood.” The funk licks between verses are super tasty, but… damn, the solo (starting around 2:10) is just vicious. Sweep picking, whammy madness, dissonance… it’s a sampler platter of mayhem, all coming from the fingers of a guy who looks like one of your Dad’s friends.

4. STEVE STEVENS

I debated whether or not Steve really belongs on this list, since anyone who watched MTV in the 80’s (i.e. anyone paying attention to pop and rock music in the 80’s) would be somewhat familiar with the tiny, patent-leather-clad Q-tip that was (and still is) Billy Idol’s lead guitarist. However I went ahead and did it because a) I only had four people on my list and b) I don’t think people give him the credit he’s due as a guitar player; he’s more of an extra in the videos, part of the visual record.

And, well, shit, if I’m being honest, really the only reason he’s on here is “Rebel Yell.” To me it’s a top 5 80’s song, and the solo (at about 2:28) is hands-down my favorite solo of that decade. Yes, above anything Slash or Eddie or anyone else did. Why? Dunno, exactly. It’s just… rock n roll. Its 50% straight-up Chuck Berry and 50% space lasers. It’s stupid and brilliant and a little sloppy and it’s the perfect solo for this particular song, which is one of the all-time great songs to hear on a summer night in the car with the windows down. It’s just… rock n roll.

5. DR. KNOW

And now we get to the paradox – Bad Brains, by far the least popular AND most influential band on this list. Jazz-fusion players from D.C. who discovered reggae and punk and melded them into something no one else could do. They played faster and better than any punk band ever and were constantly changing, breaking up, inventing new sounds and seem forever doomed to have their legacy guarded and passed down by far too few fans. On the other hand, the Foo Fighters brought Dr. Know and Darryl (bassist) out on stage at a recent concert and Dave G. praised them and played a couple of their songs so maybe they’ll get their due, finally.

In any case, Dr. Know’s playing was always far beyond my abilities but provided one of the guideposts for me as I was developing as a player, the loose-but-tight chug of his rhythm playing, the angularity and fire of his soloing, the inversions, the open, ringing chords. He’s got it all. As an example, here’s the title track from their “I Against I” album, which marked the moment where they slowed things down just a bit and in doing so added “reinvented metal” to their mantelpiece alongside “created hardcore punk” and “invented the Black Rock movement.”

At this point I wish to point out that the title says “5 OF the most…” not “THE 5 most…” Hopefully I’ll get some thoughtful rebukes in the comments section and we can do another of these soon.

Scottish indie titans Chvrches are set to release their second album in a couple of weeks, and are doing that thing where they dribble out a track a week to you if you pre-order the record.  I’m sitting here listening to the third song they’ve dropped, ‘Clearest Blue,’ and, well… listen to this:

Now THAT is how you build up a song, folks. If you don’t start bouncing, dancing or at least head-bobbing when it fully kicks in at the 2:13 mark then you’re dead and can I have your leather jacket?  No, the one with the collar.  Thanks.

That also hits me, as a teenager of the 1980’s, right in the nostalgia bone. When I first got into music I identified as a metalhead/rocker, which was really a social declaration. I was identifying with an at least hypothetical clique (and I’ll write more about that in future posts). But I was always a pop-song lover at heart. More than albums, more than bands, a great 2 to 4 minute song was always the gem for me. And in the 80’s it was often the dreaded synth-pop bands – Depeche Mode, Erasure, and (my personal favorite) Book of Love – that cranked out the best singles.

ANYWAY, along with the nostalgia and head-bobbing, the track reminded me of something I wrote back when Chvrches first album, “The Bones of What You Believe,” came out and my fellow music-nerd wife was having a crisis-of-conscience for loving it so much. After listening to the album I wrote the following and then promptly forgot about it.

My wonderful wife recently mentioned a band called Chvrches to me after hearing them a few times on satellite radio.  She said that they were a band she didn’t think she would (or should?) like, but she did.  She mentioned them a couple times then they came up again at a party this weekend, a Scottish friend mentioning how they’re huge in their native Scotland.  Seeing as their debut album came out this week I decided to give them a listen.

I could hear why my wife expressed surprise at her own appreciation of them from the first couple of seconds.  Chvrches are what us 1980’s children would have called (sneeringly) a synthpop band, and she tends more towards big bashy guitars (think Pixies, REM, Nirvana).  Then I realized pretty quickly that I was diggin’ them too.  I generally try not to analyze why I like or dislike a piece of music, just go with the visceral reaction at least for the first few listens.  But in this circumstance I started thinking about my reaction and what grabbed me and why:

1.     They have good taste.  I should state right off the bat that I have not read anything about this band – no interviews, no reviews.  Aside from knowing that they’re from Scotland and that there’s at least one woman and one man in the band (based on their being both (mostly) female and (some) male vocals on the record), I don’t know anything about them.  Purely from listening to the record a couple of times my initial reaction was that they have good musical taste.  Their obvious antecedents are the holy trinity of 80’s synthpop – New Order, Depeche Mode, Erasure.  But they don’t mimic any of them overtly, and they also evoke some of the (relatively) less popular but more interesting groups of that era – Book of Love, OMD, Yaz, and the kind of stuff that I heard on the mixtapes my cooler-than-me high school friends would cadge from the DJs at Industry or NRG or #’s (some of the underground dance clubs in Houston back in the day).   I also recognize that they probably have a ton of less obvious (meaning non-synthpop) influences that will reveal themselves with more listens.   All of this to say they listened deeply and have built a big, interesting sound that evokes all of these influences without ripping any of them off.

2.     The record sounds great.  Again, no idea who this band is or where they recorded this record, but it sounds HUGE.  It sounds like they used real analog synths and 2” tape and a Neve board to record this thing.  Maybe they used a laptop, a good microphone and a few grand worth of software to do it.  Regardless it doesn’t have the compressed, too-loud feel of a lot of modern pop music that is mixed specifically for the radio.  This is an album I would actually love to hear on vinyl because I think it would sound really damn good.  It reminds me that well-recorded synthesizer music can sound just as huge as well-recorded guitar music.  Don’t believe me?  Go back and listen to the first couple of Eurythmics singles, preferably on vinyl or CD, and tell me they don’t sound big and fantastic.  Chvrches learned the right lessons from their musical ancestors.

3.     The songs are solid.  Here’s a project for you guitar players out there:  pick any Depeche Mode hit from the beginning of the band through, say, “Music for the Masses.”  Get out your guitar and figure out the song, then crank up the distortion pedal and go full on punk (or metal, whatever) on it.  Sounds really freaking good, huh?  Same thing with the better songs by a lot of those bands.  It’s not a big mystery – good songs are good songs regardless of the instruments on which they’re played.  That is not to say that there are not hugely popular, wonderful, jammin’-ass songs that depend on certain sonic components to exist – most of Jane’s Addiction’s first two albums spring to mind – but that a genuinely well-written song will hold up, even under the torture of some college girl with an OK voice and a ukulele and a YouTube account.  I will not claim that every track on the Chvrches album could be stripped down to vocals plus an acoustic guitar or a piano and remain something you want to hear over and over again; but I do feel comfortable asserting that a lot of these tracks could have been done with a bass-guitar-drums lineup, or acoustically, and would have been extremely effective.

So, yeah, I like this record.  It sounds good cranked up in the car; it feeds my geekery by letting me imagine the tracks as played by The Moscow Rules, full volume.  And it’s yet another reminder that my wife has good taste even when she doesn’t realize it.

I will note the following: turns out there are 3 members, and the two guys are close to my age (40’s) which explains something about their deep knowledge of 80’s sounds. Also they all came from more guitar-oriented bands, and they do use tons of vintage gear to get that huge sound. We did get the first album on vinyl and it sounds HUGE. Also The Moscow Rules is my band.